words cannot explain how messed up my thought processes are. i cant stop thinking envisioning these bad memories and they keep recurring, all fucking day. it’s made me into a nervous wreck; i had to take a nap because it was the only thing i could do with my heart beating super erratically. i came home from chipotle today around 9:30 pm and I broke down into silent tears while studying my vocab because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a failure i was. how much others percieved me as being one. i think tears are therapeutic though, i always feel better after crying.. but i dont think i want to go to school tommorow. school has this way of judging me that others dont seem to understand…especially when i try to explain myself. my heart, please stop please stop please ohh just let me be calm for once.