I just had a really good moment with a group of people. Finally home, its already 1 am. Basically, we discussed random shit and joked around. But the feelings were genuine and I didn’t have to force myself to feel something. They must be good friends, because I didn’t, even for a second, feel social anxiety. This good feeling got me thinking about how much I don’t want to grow up. Its scary, I don’t want to commit to any colleges and leave my hometown. I’ve lived in socal for 16 years and as much as this community fucked me up, it also made me who i am, or gave me an identity. i am socal. weird but it makes sense to me. I’m going to miss this.